When Stillness Feels Strange (and Why We Need It Anyway)

Kelli Hines, LPC-Associate

When we picture “stillness,” most of us imagine sitting cross-legged in a calm, quiet space with a clear mind. Peaceful, right? But in real life, that kind of calm can feel almost impossible — and honestly, a little strange.

Stillness feels strange because it is difficult for our minds to be quiet and still in a world of constant motion and stimulation. Stillness can also allow room for uncomfortable emotions to show up – the one’s we often avoid or ignore. But these are the exact reasons we NEED the practice of stillness in our lives.

Hear me out. The practice of stillness can re-center, calm, and re-energize us.  

As we move into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, practicing stillness might fall low on your list of priorities. I encourage you to bump it way up to the top of that list. We don’t need perfect space, time, and quiet. We can practice stillness even as chaos swirls around us.

Let’s explore the 5 W’s and 1 H of practicing stillness. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

WHO? 

You, me, everyone. If you have a brain and a body, you can benefit from practicing stillness. 

Brain, check.
Body, check. 

WHAT? 

The practice of stillness can have so many meanings. Meditation, mindfulness, contemplation, relaxation, experiencing inner quiet, connecting with oneself, or creating space to connect with our Creator. It also means to stop striving, step away from busyness, create space to reflect, to behold. Practicing stillness involves being with ourselves in a compassionate way, caring for our inner world.

WHEN? 

Set yourself up for success. When beginning something new, or trying something that seems difficult, start with small, easily achievable goals. (Example: once a day for 5 minutes during lunchbreak or while drinking your morning cup of coffee or tea). Slowly increase the amount of time you are able to sit in the stillness. Practice builds comfort in stillness! There is no best time of day for this practice. Know yourself. The best time of day is the time you will actually do it! 

WHERE? 

Again, know thyself. Chose a space that feels right for you and avoid distractions and interruptions. (Examples: outside, in a favorite room in your house, favorite chair, in your car, on a walk). 

WHY? 

Our inner world easily mirrors the pace of our outer world. When our pace never slows, our nervous system doesn’t either. Stillness brings calm and centeredness to our inner world, and helps us show up as better versions of ourselves in that outer world. To stay mentally healthy, we need to sometimes be present without an agenda or without goals. We need to be present without entertaining ourselves. To be mentally healthy we need to give ourselves a break! 

​HOW?

If you’re wondering what to do once you’ve chosen your when and where — here are a few simple ways to begin.

• Take a walk.

• Look at the sky and clouds.

• Sit quietly with your eyes open or closed.

• Drink a cup of coffee or tea.

• Enjoy looking at something beautiful such as flowers or plants.

• Sit outside and listen to the breeze blow.

• Pray. 

Allow your thoughts to come and go, re-focusing on the quiet and on your breathing as many times as needed. Avoid letting your thoughts take root. Just let them come and go like a breeze, or a leaf on a stream. You’ve got this. 

The discipline of caring for your mind is a form of strength.

As we enter the gift-giving season, consider giving yourself the gift of stillness — a few quiet moments to simply be.

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